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So Kisa and Yukina seem to be getting along well enough. Them being guys and all, it seems that whenever they meet up, they jump right to the sex but hey, Kisa ain’t complainin about that. But because of Kisa’s crazy schedule, they haven’t been able to go out on a real date. At the same time, Yukina seems a bit too compromising on that point. Kisa finds it weird that Yukina gives up so easily and says “Maybe next time.” Kisa wonders if having such an ideal boyfriend is really a good thing and more or less stresses himself out. His stress gets a +10 when one of the manga he’s in charge of gets green lit for an anime. But because its a great opportunity, he wants to give all his attention to making it a success….as a result, he has to pass on spending time with Yukina.
A college friend of Kisa’s is getting married after talking with him, our kawaii uke starts worrying that his job (which eats up so much of his private life) might end up being the reason why he’ll end up loosing Yukina soon. And dropping the ball on either front isn’t an option AT ALL. Kisa wants to meet Yukina after he gets off work and it turns out, they can meet! UNFORTUNATELY, before Kisa can leave, one of his mangaka’s wound up changing her mind about the name and re-did the whole thing. And its not up to part either. Clearly the mangaka is feeling the pressure of her manga being turned into an anime. Kisa tries to contact Yukina to tell him that he’ll be late but 20 minutes before Yukina can start his shift, Kisa rushes out the office.
But when he calls Yukina, Yukina is just “Maybe we shouldn’t meet today. I don’t think you’ll reach on time and I gotta get to work too. I’m fine with this, I’m not mad that we can’t meet up.” WHICH is the wrong as hell thing to say to an irritated, worried, nervous Kisa and he blows up at Yukina. But still, he makes his way to Marimo Books. As he waits outside, Kisa is determined to have a talk with Yukina and apologize. Imagine Kisa’s shock to find Yukina leave….WITH A GIRL….AND WALK DOWN A LOVE HOTEL LINED STREET D8
This is affecting Kisa’s work as he drops the ball repeatedly during an important meeting and Takano scolds him about this. Yukina has been sending him mails and calling repeatedly but the shock of seeing such a natural sight of Yukina with a pretty girl has shocked Kisa deeply. While he goes to get some papers that he left in his office, he meets the editor in chief of the BL department who informs him that she’ll be getting married soon. She shares her worries about the future and how she feels that she feels that her putting out hit after hit isn’t really her success, rather its her writers success. She just wants to have a guarantee and sense of security that her work can’t provide her. This only adds to Kisa’s insecurities that if such a person is worried about her future then what hope does an editor like himself have? Bogged down by his worries, Kisa reminds himself to not get his expectations (from Yukina) too high and that its best to cut him out of his life. Btu speak of the devil~ Yukina calls him and Kisa accidentally picks the call up (instead of hanging up and deleting his contact number).
Yukina asks if he’s done something to upset Kisa and Kisa is all “Nope nothing”, fuming inside that Yukina doesn’t realize what he did wrong but Yukina seems adamant on meeting Kisa. Kisa has another blow out and tells Yukina that if he has enough free time then he should just meet up with his girlfriend. And that he hates pushy people, they’ve played around enough and hes just tired of Yukina so he needs to stop calling him. Kisa thinks to himself that hes 30, not sure of how to love someone, too scared to love someone out of fear of being hurt and declares himself as being pathetic.
He arrives home and no Yukina in sight but oops, seems like Yukina left something of his at the apartment. Kisa thinks that he can mail it but…he doesn’t know his address. He could drop it in his mailbox who knows what hours Yukina keeps…and then he realizes that he doesn’t even know which college Yukina goes too, or his major or HELL he doesn’t really know anything about Yukina. Mid-way a self induced depression, Kisa gets a call from an old one night stand and he winds up agreeing to meet up with him. After hanging up, Kisa wonders why he feels so strange when this is something he used to do all the time…and would this feeling go away after a while? Some while later, his date shows up but before they can even kiss, a pissed off Yukina crashes the party and SLAP! Bitchslaps Kisa before telling the new guy to beat it before he beats him up. Okay fine he doesn’t say THAT but IT WAS IMPLIED OKAY. It was all in the eyes.
Kisa tries to play it off all cool but Yukina is determined to be heard. Kisa tries to return the book and Yukina’s just “Arn’t you misunderstanding something? WHAT girlfriend?” and Kisa yells that he saw the two of them walking down the hotel district the day Yukina cancelled on him. Yukina is just surprised that Kisa came to his work and didn’t tell him…besides, the girl is just a friend. She showed Yukina how to cook some dishes and in return she wanted to see a movie…and there was a theater just past the hotel district. And the girl’s schedule was such that that was the only time she was free.
Kisa bursts saying that if Yukina had some free time then why didn’t he meet with him? He’s sick of hearing that Yukina’s alright if they can’t meet it and he’s starting to think that Yukina doesn’t GIVE a shit about their relationship. Kisa flails internally that he’s finally said it and Yukina confesses that he just didn’t want to put more pressure on Kisa. Kisa who is already under so much pressure thanks to his work and Yukina is just a student and he doesn’t fully understand the pressures which Kisa is going through. So all he can do is try not to be selfish and be as considerate as possible. Yukina pulls out a movie stub and asks if Kisa hates him now. But Kisa still holds to his statement that they should break it off…they’re bound to fail anyways and he’s a shallow person who’ll sleep with anyone he finds attractive.
Yukina gets pissed as hell at Kisa – asking why the HELL are they breaking up when Kisa is still in love with him. If Kisa hates him or is tired of him then he should just tell Yukina that. Kisa peevishly says that Yukina is popular and an ideal guy so one day he’ll meet someone who is really worthy of him…a nice girl who can match him well. Kisa thinks that he’s just scared of being left behind by Yukina…and that though he loves him so much (to the point that is scares him), he doesn’t know a damn thing about him.
With makes Yukina sprout an impromptu speech about himself – name, height, weight, strengths, weaknesses, favorite artists, hobbies etc. Yukina tells him that it doesn’t matter that Kisa used to play around before because as long as he just looks at Yukina now….the past doesn’t matter. But Kisa mumbles that he just doesn’t have confidence in himself. Yukina takes his hands and asks if his love can be Kisa’s confidence…and if Kisa still wants to break up…Kisa should pulls his hands away. After a moments paise…Kisa pulls his hands away….
And falls into Yukina’s chest mumbling how Yukina can have so much self confidence. Yukina holds Kisa, telling him that its more like Kisa doesn’t have enough confidence nor the idea WHO it is that Yukina loves. So our lovely couple make up and have lots of crazy hot make up sex. And at work, things seem to be improving as well~ The mangaka who temporarily succumbed to pressure seems to be getting herself back together as well. And after a hard day at work, Kisa returns home. To find Yukina with a big ass bag waiting for him. Yukina wants them to stay together for a week as a trial period and completely steam rolls over Kisa~ As Kisa moans that maybe all he really likes about Yukina is his face, Yukina wails “EEEEEEH JUST my face? ;A;”
Well this episode was a long way coming. This was pretty much THE moment that I had been waiting anxiously to see animated. The whole Yukina speech to Kisa that is. Because oh sweet candy canes /whimpers. THAT SPEECH. Yukina Yukina Yukina, why on earth cant you be real?! But other than that, these two episodes/chapters are my most favorite chapters of the series. Why? Because this was where I found myself relating deeply with Kisa’s insecurities and lack of confidence in love and just going “Oh baby I know what you mean and I wish you didn’t hafta go through that pain.”
I think in these two episodes, its just so very VERY easy to understand where Kisa is coming from. His insecurities, those nagging doubts, the anger, the giving up….I dunno, I just find it very easy to relate it. I guess cause I’m the same way in my thinking? I know there’ll be people who might look at Kisa and just get frustrated at the way he goes about things but hey hey hey not all of us are aggressive in our anger. Some of us are very passive aggressive and we can’t do a damn thing about it.
And I think what I really liked was how his insecurities kinda crept up on him. And thats the way it really happens. Its never something which just suddenly “BAM” is in your face. It always starts with that one small random thought which starts to snow ball into a fucking avalanche that leaves the worst disaster trail behind. We start off with Kisa and Yukina being happy enough with Kisa randomly wondering if maybe they should spend more time together which winds up turning into this huge fight – good show of realism that.
And also Kisa jumping to conclusions…oh you precious baby *pets him* JUST. YOU PRECIOUS BABY. That’s all these 2 episodes are actually.
Though you can’t blame Yukina at all. I mean, how could Yukina have known with Kisa being all passive aggressive and “no nothings wrong at all”. The man was trying his best to keep the lines of communication open but Kisa was all “lolnope T_T” And lets not forget that he was just trying to be considerate of Kisa’s work schedule. THEN AGAIN, he really shoulda mentioned that at some point. “Kisa-san, you’ve working so hard so I dont want to be a burden or push you or anything.” That may (or may not) have helped things. Personally I think it mighta.
Kisa babe, while I can totally relate with why you did…at the same time I wanna hit you for it (and myself in extension). To just roll over and give up after that fight….ugh no wait I WISH I could hit you cause I can imagine how that would hurt and that…I think Yukina’s bitchslap kinda covers that whole area.
Yukina’s speech OH SWEET GOD. I had tears. Legit tears in my eyes at that scene. Had to get a tissue and wipe those tears away cause it just…..SO MANY FEELS.
Me on this episode is nothing but “I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN KISA! COME TO MY ARMS AND LET ME HOLD YOU AND WHISPER ‘THERE THERE BABY, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.”