*Lights up a cigarette and ruffles his hair* Well, was it good for you?
Panty and Stocking episode 2, where DO I begin? First off, I’m new around here so let’s make the introductions short … my name is Amar Ali (or Amar No Ero-Sama) and I shall be taking over this bitch and showing her a good time. In short I shall be reviewing Panty and Stocking weekly and bringing you my two bits on it, whilst trying to keep y’all entertained. Alright then let the gloves come off … or underwear in this case.
If you have never heard of the holy chocolate-coated abomination that is Panty and Stocking, I don’t blame you … neither do I blame you for thinking it’s a PowerPussy Galore knock off with Gir’s twin brother and a politically correct priest who looks like he can’t let go of the 70s.
Panty and Stocking is the humorously deviant brainchild of GAINAX Studios, given that they’ve had a track record with hit titles like Evangelion, Cutie Honey,Mahoromatic, Kare Kano, Gurren Lagaan and there more perved up shows like He is My Master at the twincest-fest that is KissxSis … it’s kinda surprisingly a well off studio actually had the balls to go out and put out something as fresh and visually new to their image. Gainax just fucked your shit up! In a good way!
P&S are two slutty angels sent down from the heavens probably because they came onto the big guy too strong and cracked a joke about his ‘lightning bolt’ so in turn were cast down to earth to do his bidding for all the explaining he had to do to Mrs. God. These angels are accompanied by a groovy smooth-talking black priest who’d probably try to make love to you with his voice in the confessional booth, named Garterbelt … you see where this is going … it’s a pattern … the naming sense team at GAINAX probably love their job and everyday is like wacky-tie-Friday to them. Garterbelt assigns missions or demons to vanquish from earth onto these ho bags in order to collect “Heavens” or shiny gold coins. Together the Blondie/Diva/Fashionista/It-girl/Ho-to-the-stars Panty and the Goth/Pastry-devouring/Funeral-attire-wearing/Purple-Haired Stocking battle off demons, ghosts, goblins, poop-monsters and other spooky crap from an overweight Twilight fan’s diary-of-things-she’d-fuck with their heaven sent weapons of choice … which are … you guessed it … underwear. Let’s see you figure out which type.
A pair of panties that turn into a six-shooter and stockings that transforms into a katana of course after the all-time anime staple of a ferociously risqué transformation scene that strips them bare and they work a pole like they were trying to pay for college … how much weed does Gainax give its employees and where do I sign up?
P&S totally flips off the competition because of how loony it is and how it doesn’t take itself seriously at all … it is riddled with perverted goodness and hilarious pop-culture references that will drive you up the wall … probably on your back. Panty would probably fuck herself if she could but it looks like that chick from Yosugo No Sora beat her to it and Stocking would probably eat her left hand if it were covered in chocolate and had a creamy center. Together these whores (tasteful whores) drive around the city in their pink-Hummer named “See Through” (oh Naming-Team …) ripping up the streets of Daten City looking for evil to beat the shit out of and probably find a free fuck/slice of cake somewhere.
Well let’s get on with a sum-up of this week’s episode shall we?
Part 1: The Clamor of the Beehive
We find our devilish damsel’s as usual being summoned by Mister-a-Church Choir-and-I-are-going-to-gang bang-you to do yet another mission to get rid of some elusive entity that has been terrorizing Daten High School and is probably the cause of a large number of missing students. We find our heroines of course like we always would … Panty naked under the covers looking like she hardly got any sleep last night and Stocking on the crapper … or eating cake … or eating cake on the crapper. Both of them are introduced to a small plump totally-not-a-mayor-ripoff-from-PPG man who happens to be the principal of Daten High where these mysterious disappearances are happening. So guess what … Panty and Stocking go back to School!
P&S find a place to park … right in between the lockers and the bathroom since the parking lot is for pussies. We find our girls as the “new transfer students” with a va-voom first impression … Panty of course abusing the mini-skirt uniform to smithereens and Stocking going with the whole chic “I’m to cool for you fuckers” look. After their snappy entrance they encounter “Geek-Boy” an occult loony nerd who apparently is the butt of all jokes. The girls run into “Barby”, yes Ken wasn’t far … probably somewhere waxing his vagina, but as you can see “Barby” is hailed as queen of the school by her peer as she rapes the “head-cheerleader” gimmick. Panty and Stocking being the cold bitches they are aren’t caught up in Barby’s facade and decided to ditch the bitch and start their investigation. Furious by their apparent nonchalance, Barby goes on a defamation spree against the ho-sisters.
Many slapstick gags and goof-ups later, Panty and Stocking are in the running for the new “Queen of the School” and have gathered a few fan boys … after a few fans dismiss their previous idol Barby we see a creepy silhouette sneak up behind them and the rest is up to our imaginations to what it must’ve shoved up their asses. Of course we know where this is going Barby’s the bitch demon that is terrorizing the school.
So later on Barby engages in combat with Panty and Stocking as she reveals her true form as a “Queen Bee” … didn’t see that coming *yawn*. Sadly thought this episode didn’t have a Transformation scene rather just a hot of Panty and Stocking talking trash and getting ready to rock that bitch’s world. A bang her a slash there and it’s over … Townsvill- I mean Daten City is saved once again thanks to the whore sisters!
Part 2: Sex and the Daten City
Oh boy, Sarah Jessica Parker is gonna fucking sue for sure … well either that or want in on a piece of this action like most of Hollywood does these days. LET’S MAKE A MOVE OUTTA THIS ONE AND SET IT IN DUBAI AS WELL!
We find Panty and Stocking … well mostly Panty showing off her well endowed whoreness in front of the camera as we see the sisters in a trailer for their upcoming action flick that seems like a porn director made it and added a colorized sepia effect to it. So as we see the world gets a taste of what’s to come with P&S coming to the big-screen … Panty starts getting her Celeb-mode on and goes on a spree of ads, commercials and goes into her own clothing brands and other random crap celebrities do put up a facade these days. With great power comes great responsibility … HA! FUCK THAT! Let’s get high and hog the spot light! Panty goes ape-shit-power-crazy with the whole movie deal and all and decides to spend it all and live large like a movie star should. Stocking on the other hand is a peaceful bitch who wants to stuff her face full of sugar while her whore of a sister gets pounded and wasted. Lindsay, you’re such a bad role-model.
Panty decides that at the premiere of the movie that she should make it CLEAR that this ISN’T her first film … her first was a sleazy porno that she made with some dude back in the day who was gonna make her “A STAR” … we’ve all heard that one before. So because of her bantering and bitching the world now knows that she made a porn flick before this … thus probably this is going to fuck some serious shit up!
Her PR manager decides she’s screwed anyways and they all bail on Panty … so Stocking helps her out by going across the world to find every porn-tape of hers ever put out…and smash it to bits using Chuck as a blender. Egypt, Iran, Antarctica and even in fucking space … all the tapes are finally gone. Panty can now lay low in ease … she gives Stocking the last tape … for sentimental purposes. Stupid bitch.
Later that night all is well … Panty and Stocking go back to the premiere to re-do that whole fiasco in good spirits … Panty decides to hog all the spot light again while calling her sister an emo-goth-shut-in thus pissing of Stocking and forcing her to upload her sister’s sex-tape on youtube all over the net. You had it coming you whore.
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