This season, be prepared for the single greatest film to hit the big screen near you! Suspense! Thrills! A mysterious girl! Ridiculous sentences! Horrible B.O that may knock you out! This film episode film has it all! With Ookami Ryouko starring as Ookami Ryouko, backed by Akai Ringo and Ryoushi Morino, she faces the single most horrible threat that has ever been faced by the Otogi Bank! The filthiest terrorists, the Three Tonda Brothers! A heroic struggle that should not be missed! Coming soon! OOKAMI-SAN AND THE 3 PIGS!

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What? That was pretty much the first 1 and a half minute of the new episode before the OP starts. So anyways, putting that opening weirdness aside, let’s start the way we usually do eh? The request of the week put forward to the Bank is to find a bride. The Prez is talking with Ringo, Ryouhi and Ryouko as he tells them that while this particular request was not put forward by a student but it would be to their favor if they have the requester in their debt. Ringo guesses that its someone rich and powerful and the Pres says that it’s the heir to the Nezumi Housing. Ringo asks if it’s the same Nezumi Housing which runs all the commercials on TV? Ryouko can just sigh as she thinks that its just some rich kid out for fun so why should they help him?

Ryoushi however wonders that someone of that standing would already have a number of potential brides to choose from (Narrator: I guess money can buy anything right?) so why this request? The Pres side steps by saying that there are certain circumstances so its up to them! *double take* Wait, THAT’S the future head of the Nezumi Housing? BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA *pounding the ground with her fist while laughing* his hair! His hair! Kyahahahahahha! He looks like a Mickey Mouse XDDD

*gets smacked on the head*

Ahem. So Nezumi Chuutarou (….PFFFFFT! XD NICE naming sense! Chu chu chu chu~) and his butler have come to the club and they introduce themselves. The three of them are surprised that they have to look for a bride for such a young boy (Narrator: Come on, he’s wearing knickerbockers!) The kid however merely looks around and says that its quite the dirty place innit? Do commoners live in such houses? (Remind you of anyone ELSE that we know and love? He’s also rich…but a bit of a lovable airhead?) Hammel (butler-san) corrects him before Ryouko comments that he really is a cheeky brat. Otsuu-san enters in with a cup of tea and her eyes meet with Hammel-san! Awww shes blushing she’s blushing!

She asks his name and he tells her its Hammel. She drops her gaze, clearly feeling down at that reply before he goes “My soul name is Sebastian” *falls over* Otsuu-san stares in awe at him while the other three stare at away apathetically. Hammel/Sebastian asks her name and she gives it. He asks one more question…”Dirty thoughts….” She immediately replies “I think that they are bad!” (Narrator: . . . . err are we allowed to say that line here?) Well those two seem to be getting on swimmingly while Ryouko asks, quite rightly, “What on earth was that?” Seriously….what the hell was that….

So the back story is that according to family tradition, Chuutarou has to pick a fiancée before his 12^th birthday and there’s a week left to his birthday! Ryoushi points out that shouldn’t this have been handled like a long while ago? Ryouko sighs as she agrees before she asks the kid if he has someone he likes. He stammers as he says that he doesn’t and that’s why he’s enduring the shame of…asking for their help. With this attitude you’ll get ‘help’ alright…right on your noggin ^^;; Ringo sighs heavily before she asks if he has any particular preferences or requirements or what not. After a bit of thought, he says that someone who is smart, who can work hard and support him in running the company in the future.

As the threesome repeat his requirement, Hammel asks if there is someone they have in mind? But they wave the notion away (though there is a certain person that we know well…) before oh look who stepped in, hi thar Alice~! Nice timing~! And Hammel, being the smart guy he is, looks at her and says that this is the girl right? Ryouko can only clench her fist in anger as she grumbles that the Pres sold Alice out! Hammel suddenly wipes out a … folder? And says that he has received information on eligible candidates before this meeting (FROM WHO?! Narrator: The Pres gave him that book btw.) And yep, she seems to fit the needs quite well. Alice seems a bit confused cause she just came to check how the meeting was going and was CLEARLY NOT expecting a marriage proposal from a soon to be 12 year old XD

Hammel ominously predicts that if Chuutarou was to take such a woman as his wife, she’d attempt to control over aspect of his life and worry needlessly over him. Clearly this can be discerned from the deep wrinkles in her forehead. No doubt about it, in the future she’ll be one hell of a hysterical old woman.  She’ll be wearing horn-rimmed glasses with gold chains and…end her sentences with “-zamasu” . . . Dude, stop before she smacks you on the head with something big and heavy! AND the kid just said something that he shouldn’t have….ah did you hear that snap? XD

Alice screams at everyone (as they run out the door as fast as they can) that she can’t help the wrinkles on her forehead and WHAT THE HELL is “-zamasu”?! The group turns a corner before resting and Chuutarou comments that a hard working girl won’t do so its time to search for another candidate. Ringo comments that anyone would get mad if you say stuff like that to their face. Ryouko tells them to apologize to Alice later on (not like they’re listening…) and she notices a little girl peeking at them from the corner. Ryoushi asks if something is wrong and Ryouko hesitantly says that she thinks she saw something like a Zashiki Warashi.

Ringo and Ryoushi looks around but they can’t see the girl, she’s clearly left. Eh? End of the first half already? So the next candidate! The housewife type that can..do..any..hey that’s Jizou Ami from last time! Ringo says that she already has a boyfriend, got him just recently. Hammel asks that she is still a housewife type right? Ryoushi nervously comments that she does have some … extreme elements to her character. Chuutarou tut tut’s the notion away saying that no matter what kind of guy she has, he will OBVIOUSLY pale in comparison to his…allure. I’m torn..should I smack the kid on the head oooor laugh myself silly? Ryouko dryly wonders if he’s easy going or just over confident. Ryoushi and Ringo have the same tired “what did I get myself into and why am I doing this again?” expression on their faces as they make their way through campus.

Ringo retorts that that’s to be expected from an heir huh? At the baseball club practice area, practice is on going and everyone hard at work – including one Inuzuka-san (one of Momo-chan-senpai’s followers) who just happens to be Hanasaki’s right hand man in the baseball club. A perverted one. So the small group is walking through some dense foliage and looking around as Chuutarou asks where she is. Ryoushi points to a bush and says “There.” Hooded figure hiding in the bushes secretly watching who you know during his practice.

Ringo comes up from behind, totally startling Ami who gets flustered as being caught stalking red handed. Ami denies this saying that shes just watching Hanasaki in secret.  . . . that’s called stalking honey. With a – _ – expression, Ryouko says that they’re already going out so why doesn’t she cheer for him in the open? Clearly that’s too much for Ami to even handle as she says that she couldn’t anything that crude. . . . CRUDE? *Falls over in a fit of giggles* Ryouko gives Ami a look of “are you kidding me?” as she asks if covering herself with a camouflage sheet and watching him through a pair of binoculars ISNT crude? No response obviously~ XD

Hammel steps up saying that not only is she good at housework and diligent but is also humble and faithful. (Stalking…is humble? … right…okay…mind showing me what dictionary you use? Mine might be riddled with errors) Ami blushes at the compliments as Chuutarou takes her hand and asks her to be his bride. She’s surprised as hell but AGAIN Hammel HAS to chime in XD Faithful = clingy baggage. ;A; or in other words, LAND MINE. Clearly the type to stalk her interest and jump out of nowhere to present a handmade sweater on V-Day. Chuutarou admits that she does look like that and who wants a handmade sweater these days? (Yeah that’s kinda true but dude that’s harsh!)

Ami falls to her knees in shock. Clearly too much of a hit, she runs away crying. Ringo sighs and tiredly says that they’ll have to ask Hanasaki to console her later on. As Ami runs away, the little girl from before peeks from behind a tree at the group before hiding again. And now at the gym storeroom area! Hammel is telling his boochama that his bride MUST be of equal standing or else there will be no balance. And that’s why they are here, in search of the rich ojouchan! Or in simpler terms, they are searching for Tarou cause where he will be, Otohime will be within a 6 foot radius XD

With a sharp look, Ryoushi comments that would like to learn this amazing technique of catching one’s prey in a trap! Ringo comments that that says a lot about Otohime if Morino acknowledges that. A yell from the storeroom (Yahooo Tarou~!) “It’s a misunderstanding Otohime!” has everyone’s attention turn towards the small shed…and oh look, the door is open~ “I wasn’t hitting on her! I was just checking to see if she had understood what I said!” Tarou is on the ground with Otohime on top (not like that PLEASE~ shes on the side) as she asks then WHY would he need to hold her hand and whisper sweet nothings to her?! Ringo, Ryoushi and Ryouko can only sigh at the familiar scene while Chuutarou looks on with interest and curiosity.

But he doesn’t seem to care if this is a child appropriate scene and takes Otohime’s hand and asks HER to be his bride. Otohime looks at him blankly for a moment before blushing and starting to say that she’s already betrothed to -she turns to look at Tarou but guess what? He’s already run off~! XD He is now attempting to flirt with Ryouko and Ringo. Otohime looks about as happy as a fully puffed puffer fish before she yells that another man is proposing to her yet he makes no moves to stop him and is flirting with other women instead! Naturally, she’s pissed. Tarou doesn’t seem ruffled at all as he says that rather than a man, it’s just a kid. Of course she ignores THAT one and goes on ranting that perhaps he’s come to dislike her? Tarou places his hands on her shoulders and says that nothing of the sort, she’s the only one ever in his eyes (isn’t that cause she keep shoving the other girls out of your vision?) and sparkles attack! Aaaaand they hug dawwwww bu-WAIT! Otohime gives a feral grin before grabbing Tarou by the back of his shirt and drags him away happily.

Tarou comments, while being dragged away, that the kid has a good eye for making a pass at Otohime. But having eyes that are TOO GOOD is also a fault so, all things should be taken in moderation – is Tarou’s last advice before the door slams shut aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we leave the rest up to your pervy imaginations~ Chuutarou stares at the banging door for a moment before commenting that girls are really amazing. Another tired sigh from the Otogi Bank crew before Hammel says they should continue with their search.

HA FINALLLY! I was waiting for Usami Mimi to meet the kid! Chuutarou comments that she’s cute, Hammel says that such girls have hearts of coal and tar. Hey good observation! XD and then its Suzume from the broadcasting committee (oh she was the MC for the beauty con wasn’t she?) Chuutarou “Love the voice!” Hammel “She’ll talk all day long about worthless things. Worse than a broken radio.” Gretel, from the student council. Hammel “Shes a walking brocon.” Gretel, with a glare “Onii-sama and I are not in such a pointless relationship” *falls over* SAY WUT NOW?! HEY HEY HEY! CAMEOS! 😀 Its Taiga, Kusheida and Ami from Toradora! Gyaahaha even Misaka and Shirai from Toaru! But they all are declared to be no damn good from Hammel.

At the end of the day, Ringo, Ryouko and Ryoushi are tiredly sitting on a bench while Chuutarou comments that they still haven’t found the perfect girl even after looking for so long! Ryouko points out that if they keep picking at every damn fault like they are, no one will ever want him. Hammel says that he will share an ancient wisdom in what to look for in a wife. (Are you even married yourself?) “Look for boobs” . . . . I cant argue with that one. I mean, even if we speak from the biological perspective, aren’t men more attracted to big breasts because it shows that –  . . . err never mind *stops what little she remembers from taking Conflict Management XD*

Ryoushi, Ryouko and Ringo spit take on their juice at the comment as Ringo very tiredly says that here comes another messed up opinion. Hammel explains that all men love enormous boobs…wait wait…you don’t mean…no no no not the millet dumplings!  GYAAAAAAAAAAAAA *holds head in her hands in a posture of despair* Bad timing Momo-chan! AAAAAAH! And you have to strike that particular pose in front of a boy! Chuutarou comments that they truly are amazing. Hammel adjusts his glasses and says that dreams and awe of men are folded well within them. . . . okay now that’s just plain ole creepy. Momo thanks them for the compliment, though she doesn’t quite get it and asks Ryoushi, what’s wrong with Ryouko and Ringo?

GEH! WHAT an oppressively mad aura that surrounds those two XD Ryoushi laughs and nervously says that its been a long day for them so they’re just tired. And AGAIN as Chuutarou is ready to propose, Hammel HAS to point out that..the problem of gravity. I’m not explaining this cause if you don’t know it, then well…you need to go learn more XD Momo doesn’t like that comment AT ALL and says that she will NOT lose against gravity! Hammel can only sadly shake his head and comment that they wont last ten years based on his life experience. … what you had them? *gets smacked* Momo-chan just turned white with shock as Ryouko laughs and says with ALL TOO MUCH amusement that she sympathizes with Momo-chan! Chuutarou asks that cause of gravity, wont ALL boobs sag? Hammel says that there is one miraculous form of boobs that is immune to gravity.

What? No boob? 😛 . . . CRAP he did say that. And crap crap shut UP before Ryouko punches you with the Neko Neko Knuckles! Seriously shut up shut up! Oh crap this is not gonna be pretty. EVERYONE HIT THE DIRT! HIIIIIIII and they arnt shutting up either! Ryuoko cracks and says that shes gonna be kill them and is barely being held back by Ryoushi and Ringo as they remind her that the kid is their client. GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH someone tell this brat to keep his mouth shut! “If you had to choose between two flat chests, which is better?” in this case, NEITHER cause they BOTH will skin your hide six ways to Sunday for all your comments!

Hammel says to go for the younger one – not Ringo cause she may look young but her real age shows (shes past her expiration date). And on that comment, Ringo snaps, Ryouko snaps and Momo-chan’s already snapped and poor Ryoushi has to hold back three severely pissed off ladies! XD The kid and the butler don’t really care…im starting to see WHY the kid doesn’t have any bride prospects…so while the girls are squabbling at wanting to take on the butler, Hammel says that there is one kind of woman that can’t be found with money or power. Oh and what type would THAT be? A childhood friend…I shoulda seen that one coming I SWEAR I shoulda *facepalms*

A mysterious breeze blows by, stopping everyone in their tracks. Hammel asks why did Chuutarou want to look for a bride in the first place? Chuutarou says that it’s because of their tradition. Hammel asks “Wasn’t it for her?”, as he turns to looks at the small girl peeking from behind the tree. Ah her name is Uika and she runs to Chuu-chan and asks why he is looking for a bride. She tearfully asks if he doesn’t like her anymore. He denies that but looks away as he admits to hearing a rumor that there was someone that she liked. She cries out that that wasn’t true because she only likes Chuutarou. Hammel tells him that his mistake was to listen to the rumors and not ask Uika directly. So from the start, there was no need to search for a bride.

The teenagers group is left stunned speechless at the amazing conclusion. And I mean STUNNED. Complete with matching “WTF!?” looks on all four faces. Back at the club, Pres is commenting that how nice it was that though there were some wrong turns along the way, ultimately what was precious to him was always beside Chuutarou. And thanks to their efforts, their love has bloomed ever so brightly~! Everyone is … not exactly sharing the same enthusiasm as the Pres…nope…not at all. His laughter drift off into silence at all the glares he’s receiving before he turns blue with fright before turning to the audience with a grin. But as the narrator puts it “Even if you look at us…stop that laughing!”

Ah and the conclusion to the cracktastic intro. At the school roof top! Ryouko, Ryoushi and Ringo are facing off the three brothers! They have risked their lives to face them down and plan to take them down with, by disarming their greatest weapon – their stench! AND SO! The fate of the school…no, of ALL HUMANITY rests on them…on this final battle…of OUSAMA GAME!  GASP! One of the brothers is the king! And his command…numbers 1 and 2 will kiss! GYAAAAAAAAA it seems that Ryouko is 1 and  *brain comes to a screeching halt and goes flying out the windscreen and plops to the ground a bloody broken heap of tissue* RINGO WAS TWO?! Ah…service cut…Ryouko stammers and blushes and asks what the hell is she doing?

Ringo sneakily says that the orders in the game as absolute. Ringo turns back to the brothers and says that if they draw the King, THEY will do the same! GYAAAAAAAAAAAAA Ringo just turned black with hate and rage as she asks if they are ready! Narrator: UWA are you trying to show us Pig BL?! Ah..who turned the lights/telly off? Ah it was Tarou. He picks up a nearby dvd case and looks like Ringo made that movie. He looks around and wonders where everyone went too anyways. All the girls are at a cake shop, looks like they plan to buy out the whole shop XD Pres and Ryoushi watch them from behind as Ryoushi nervously points that some people here were not involved in the days incidents…like Mao-san and Majo-san and Majo-san.

The Pres holds up his wallet and says that he doesn’t really have enough confidence to pay for all of them so would he lend him some money. And so, after all of the days wacktastic happenings, the girls were satisfied after eating all those delicious cakes. And everyone apart from the Pres’s wallet, lived happily ever after~~~

Score: B+/A

Opinions:

Well that was all sorts of cracky hell wasn’t it? XD I still cant get over the naming sense…soon to be head of the Nezumi household…CHUUTAROU Nezumi *cracks up allllll over again* and that hair oh ye GADZ that hair! XD I gotta admit that im surprised that Hammel didn’t point any flaws in Otsuu-san. Someone’s got a maid fetish perhaps? Winkwink And I’m a tad disappointed that the same didnt happen with Otohime – i was looking forward to seeing her raise all manners of hell! XD

That Hammel…quite the err…discerning eye he has. Or maybe the Pres just told him all those points. And maaaaaan the Pres really wound up smack in the middle of everyone’s black book so nicely XD and speaking of that black books…the hell was that end service scene at the end with Ryouko and Ringo?!?!?! There I was expecting Ryouko and Ryoushi and instead…instead…..*runs away crying* Ichiwaru! Oni! Akuma! BAAAKKKAAAAA~~~!

First time in this series that I felt the time just slip by! It didn’t feel like it was the usual 23 minutes! Time really flew by in this ep, with all its crackiness. I had hoped for a bit more of Usami but then Momo-chan showed up and i cracked up in all sorts of new manners. Momo-chan, fighto against gravity! *cheers her on* XD

And that was one HELL of a weird start to an episode! I went back to double check if I had downloaded the right file! Ringo-san…why on EARTH did you make a movie like that? WAY too weird. And how’d you convince Ryouko about that kiss? Most likely didn’t tell her and just went with it right? XD