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I’ve been trolling a lot of blogs recently, as it’s become a custom of mine to check out what others feel about an episode after I’ve seen it. Since Forums aren’t what they used to be really, I’ve been relying on blogs to see what everyone else thinks.
Somewhere down this road however, I’ve become increasingly annoyed and amused at how the majority of people have been blogging. So much so, that I’ve noticed a few things that’s popular with mostly ALL anime blogs (Including ours obviously):
Note: This is not a serious article, its just a joke and some good old nitpicking for the sake of laughs. If I offended you, I apologize, that was not my intent!
1)Everything Sucks, PERIOD!
According to this golden rule, the sole purpose of the episode was to be lame and be funny. There is no way in hell that a popular anime that has such a huge fanbase is actually GOOD!
Blasphemy I tell you! It sucks so bad, there are SOOO many plot holes that the animation studio is more or less full of arse holes.
This is actually a big problem with Blogs today… As a lot of bloggers think that they can show how cool they are if they can diss practically anything. All this does is annoy a lot of readers and anime fans, not to mention cause a major back lash…
2) Memes ahoy!
With the exception of our dear Random Curiosity, mostly every blog I’ve visited HAS to have a meme going, or several. Move over 4chan and it’s absurdities, the new meme factory is definitely the anime blog of tomorrow (or today?)
And its getting to the point where it’s not entertaining… it’s just getting old. From the 10000 meme that these blogs produce, only one or two are actually good. They should become 4Chaners if they really want to make memes, and quit blogging O_o
3) Making Fun of the Anime Screenz > Talking about the Ep:
For the LOVE OF GOD. Yes… it’s funny to nitpick a particular point in an episode every now and then, but for the LOVE of all that is impure and erotic (hentai ftw!) please! Do something that actually reflects on the episode.
Simply pressing CTRL+I and making a funny caption is the new blogging standard. In fact, screw actually talking about the entire episode. That’s for them overrated intellectual types. Just go for the pie and make FUN of odd screenshots. Because anime blogging is all about how fun screenshot taking is.
Anime Blogging should be about more than caption making. Why not just join some REAL blog as a screenshot caption maker? SERIOUSLY!
4) The Manga had this this this and THIS! Where is it?
Yes, we love manga. Manga rocks. Manga is where most of today’s anime originates from. Manga is king… In fact it’s so good that there’s even a Minister for manga in Japan.
Therefore, as anime bloggers, it is our civic duty to point out every small little discrepancy between the manga and the anime. Who cares about those people who actually didn’t read the manga? They’re fags anyway!
In fact, the world probably revolves around a big ball of manga rather than the sun!
I can seriously not take all these manga v.s anime comparisons. An anime is going decently well on it’s OWN, only to be compared to its adapated manga, which a few “rather obsessive” people have gone and read. To make matters worse… they JUST have to prove that the manga > Anime.
We get it… we get it. Your fangirl expectations were not met. Give it a rest already >_>
5) Episode Summaries ftw!
In this day and age, we need episode summaries! YES! People need to be spoiled! They need to be told everything before they see it because it’s… RIGHT!
I mean, there’s NO POSSIBLE way to watch an anime quickly is there? I mean… heaven forbid ever even using things like bittorrent or Streaming sites. They’re so hard to use.
We Anime bloggers must do what no other man or fan can! We must post summaries after watching the raw for the ignorant masses! We are the messengers of knowledge and fandom!
Seriously… you’d think that with the invention of things like BT, Mega upload and streaming sites, people would understand that nearly EVERYONE has seen something.
There’s an argument that some people like to follow series via episode summaries to save time… but honestly if you’re not even going to WATCH the anime, what’s the point again? Just watch the one or two shows you CAN and be content with that.
6) Regularly blogging is a sin!
Regular blogging yon say? Following a schedule? Nuuuuu! That’s just what the overrated blogs do. I mean who cares about regularity or uniformity! Death the Kid be damned! We will blog only when we find an ep that’s funny or actually worth blogging. We have better things to do! Like trolling 4Chan!
Rarely do I see a blog that regularly blogs the shows its selected every week. In fact, even WE don’t do it. So this is a rather problematic problem that’s spreading across the Internet, and most anime bloggers seem to have it.
7) Crappy layouts the new sexyness
Forget about the internet ever looking PURDY. What is this purdy you even SPEAK OF! You infidel! >_>
You know not the rule of the Crappy layout. The Anime Blog must have a simple Text and bg color scheme. Good layouts and jaw dropping visuals are a thing of the past!
We go for simple pre-made layouts! And who cares about an actual format for our blog posts? A screenshot gallery before the post followed by a summary/opinions is fine really. After all, no one is actually going to care if we make things as confusing as POSSIBLE. It’s an anime blog, everyone’s seen one of those by now!
It’s a sad reality that while the Anime Blog is obviously more popular than the anime site these days, most of these Anime Blogs have designs and layouts that border on “decent” at best. What happened to actually being visually appealing… people?
8) It’s All for the “Fans”
Seriously! THE FANS! Who can forget the fans! My blog is like, a complete utter product of ftw! Therefore everyone who comments is a fan of my awesomeness! Hah? Anime fans? Bah! Everyone exists for the sole purpose of reading my awesomeness. Anime is just an excuse for me to display my awesomeness as a blogger.
Wait a sec… lemme just get this straight… YOUR FANS??!?!? Who the HELL do you think YOU are? You’re nothing more than a simple writer who WRITES about the AWESOMENESS that is anime. How in Heaven and Hell do YOU have fans?
The very concept of an anime blogger having FANS astounds me xD
9) Taking everything seriously or not at all:
There is no middle ground in the land of the Anime Blogging. In fact, you’re either an overly serious megane-kun or an extremely spazzic 4chaner. There is no middle ground, no professionalism or having fun.
This is ANIME BLOGGING! THE RENAISSANCE OF THE INTERNET! >_<
THE INTERNET IS, as beloved ggFansub Group member Koda says: “Fucking Serious Buisness!”
10) Anime Reviews = 1 paragraph or moar
Seriously taking time to write a full page review, weighing the pros and cons of an anime?
Ehhh… Dude! The year 2000 called, it wants its interwebz back! O___O
The only way to review is to end summarize your opinion in 2 paragraphs or less. In fact, I invision a world where Anime reviews Will be simple and easy to understand, for I am the uber awesome anime blogger:
Anime:  Sucks  Does Not Suck
Simple! Sweet! And Fast! Effort is a thing of the past.